Saturday 29th

Last night, Huw Stephens was hosting a night at the club Boyfriend works in, so I went along to watch the bands and work up the nerve to give him the sample 4 tracks we've been mixing in preparation for his arrival.

Standing there listening to the men-with-guitars/synths/drums on stage (from behind the sounddesk, because it turns out thats where I feel most comfortable now, having spent the last 6 months sitting behind one), I found myself considering a lot of things. Having pushed my CD into Huw's hand shyly, and having attempted to lipread in the halflight and heavy noise, I found my mind wandering back to a Friday night 4 years ago when two friends, Boyfriend and I went to ATP. We'd been up at genuinely ridiculous times to get 8 billion different trains, gradually decreasing in technological splendor, til we ended up on a creaking thing that looked straight out of The Railway Children, followed by a bus where we were mocked by local high school kids for having "stupid hair". Having dumped our stuff in our little chalet/flat/bedsit thing, as you get at festivals held in Butlins, we trooped off and watched as many bands as possible - two of us staying mostly downstairs at the little stage and the other two in the big hall upstairs. We met back up in the early hours of the morning downstairs for a DJ set by John Peel. One of us had already fallen asleep, and I was feeling totally knackered so I crawled up onto a box-like structure sticking out of the wall and just watched and listened. Boyfriend and friend-who-fell-asleep later emailed him several times across one show, all of which were read out, and which they then bootlegged for proof. I am now the only person who has a copy, following many system crashes. That was about a fortnight before he died. I dont generally go in for the "omg, famous people!" bit, but I found myself in that room feeling very grateful for having seen him do his thing just once.

Wednesday 26th

New site complete. Check it out. Honestly, it's mostly a placeholder for this blog - `i don't have a lot of other stuff to put in it yet, whilst I write the material. All the shiny extra stuff comes way later down the line. But it means Leni Ward is now officially dead, and here ariseth her aphex twin.

I'm going to bed early tonight - still attempting to kick my body clock back a few hours so I can sleep before 2:30am. I was out of the house at 7:15am on Saturday and I'd forgotten how much I like early autumn mornings. I should get up one days, take my camera, and just keep going. I love the crispness. But I hate the cold. Thank goodness this season's all about chunky knitwear - gonna get me a stash to last me til they're back in fashion again. Layer me up, baby.

Tomorrow I begin work on the CD sampler artwork (which given my fairly limited graphic design skills, I'm hoping to keep simple yet stunning, basic yet impressive. It can be done, I assure you) and then the rest of the day will probably be spent with Boyfriend. Then comes Friday, one long night, and then back to work on, probably, Sunday (giving me Saturday to recover from a very late night. Really, I should start resetting my body clock then, not now).

I go through extreme phases in almost everything. Particularly in art. I will go through these explosions of new books, going to galleries, exploring new music, theatre, painting - everything will be outwards and expansive and heady. And then the urge to go out and find will subside and it all collapses inwards into a the dwarf star which is Leni-the-musician. Those are the times the songs really get going. I feed them, and off they race. So I'm embracing the art. And in so doing, I bought yet more supplies a couple of days ago for a new project.

I've been thinking a lot about the artwork recently, though I know it might be a little premature. I have a pretty clear idea of what I want this time round, in terms of pretty much everything, and this is no exception. Hopefully, I'll shoot it myself, assuming I can get the supplies I need cheaply enough. I feel it's really a digital slr dealio, and it's gonna require at least a semi-studio environment with good lighting. If only I still had access to college. Hm.

Anyway, in thinking about the themes for the album artwork, I was also thinking about the feel of this house. I'm renting, so I can't redecorate, but the walls are basically covered in prints from my darkroom, and strips of fabric I've hung across ceilings and suchlike (and buckets and buckets of acoustic foam, which drops off my ingenious temporary fixing solutions whenever it gets a bit warm). I decided it needed more weird, and thus I decided to make an effigy of myself in puppet form. I just had this urge. However, I've thought it over and decided not to mess with that kind of mojo. But the desire to build a puppet hasn't dissolved quite as quickly. Coincidentally, I came across this a few days ago:

And have decided to have a go at building me a paper puppet figure. Two, actually, assuming it all goes well. With mirror eyes. And hair from the wilderness, from the tribe. Who knows, they might well end up in the artwork too.

Tuesday 25th

Today, I'm coding and manipulating images. I've dug out and scanned a bunch of my darkroom prints from this winter/spring (almost winter again - that means I can go back to long nights in my dimly red-lit spare room surrounded by trays and the smell of chemicals listening to Radio 4 til the World Service comes on. Bliss) and am working them into some kind of layout (which you should be looking at now, actually).

Tables do my head in. It's been a long time since I wrote anything in html, and I'm a bit rusty. Determined to make it both pretty AND functional this time - the last two were very pretty but an arse to update. Updatability is probably more important. Dropped everything at 8, swung into Morrisons for some popcorn and went to the Director's Chair screening of Moliere, as I'd missed it at the local indie cinema. I feel the art cravings coming upon me again - I have so much to catch up on. I'll dig out some Moliere as soon as I'm done with Dante (found a copy translated by one of my favourite uni-poets, as I call them, so I'm looking forward to it, just as soon as I'm done with DBC Pierre. Apparently, Vernon God Little is the book most owned but not read by people in the entire country. It occurred to me that I am one of those people, and decided to rectify the situation). I'm seriously annoyed that Angel Row is shutting down, as I'm now left with no art gallery within easy reach. Bastards.

Monday 24th

Long day today. Got up very early (I'm still trying to get my body clock back to a time where I remember what morning looks like) and so have that weird kind of jetlag you get when you're trying to reset your body clock. Went into town and picked up my books from the library - and have read almost all three new installments of Sandman by the end of the day. By new, of course, I mean a decade old.

Engineer arrived and we got down to mixing the last track for the sampler for Friday. Turned out to be a complete bitch. The bass drum is Engineer's new nemesis. Engineer, Producer and Artist clashed numerous times, particularly in the final mastering. Fortunately, there's two of me and only one of him, so generally we win.

Assuming that myspace doesnt totally cock up the mixes again (something they do with the mp3s after uploading seems to have totally knocked all the clarity out of the rough mixes I put up there), you should be able to listen to the whole sampler soon.

Sunday 23rd

I had A Very Emotional Day yesterday, which was also A Very Long Day. I was in town before 8am and on a train by 8:30am, which might not sound so bad to People With Proper Jobs, but you've got to bear in mind that my working day generally finishes around 2am, and Friday night I had a bit of a spiritual epiphany and ended up playing my piano til about 3.

Train to London to Visit Mother took an hour and a half longer than it should have due to signal failure in West Hampstead. Gotta say, I've been stuck in a lot of train stations all over the country now, and Luton Airport Parkway isn't one I'd recommend.

Stuff Happened.

After Stuff, I wandered over the the Tate, as generally I do when in London. Technically, I should have gone to a poetry reading some people I knew were reading at/attending, but as Stuff had already gone on past the start time, I thought I'd immerse myself in visuals. Tbh, I didn't really have the social energy either.

I was distracted on the wobbly bridge by the dready busker who was playing what I later (after much googling of "wok shaped bangy thing") discovered to be a hang drum. They're wicked awesome. BUT they're also expensive, in very limited supply and require a personal visit to Switzerland to procure one, which has to be booked at least a year in advance. Even I thought that was a bit much, and I bought my Array Mbira from the only workshop that makes them in San Diego (though, to be fair, they posted. And it was totally work it. Buy one: here).

The Tate was more awesome than usual. Generally, it leaves me a bit dry, especially as I can't usually afford to look in the pay-for exhibitions. But their minimalist display on at the moment is SO cool. And I could (and have) sit in the Rothko room for ages. Martin Creed is my new God, I feel. Should I ever have the money, I'd want a place of my own with the dimensions of a gallery. I think the buildings have much to do with my adoration of them. Hopefully, will be visiting the Baltic around my birthday, the thought of which spins my head with glee.

By the time I dragged myself out of there (I swear, one day I will go down to London early and just sit in there til they chuck me out. In fact, taking a look at a couple of the people sitting in the little info areas between galleries, I reckon there are a group of people who do that. Seems reasonable to me.) it was very dark. Totally dark, if you will. Almost akin to night time. I love autumn. I walked down the Thames, looking out across twinkly lit London and watching the trendy couples saunter in and out of the various bars. It would have been totally serene had I not been worried about the lateness of the hour and the likeliness that I'd actually be able to get home, given the issues I'd already had coming down (St Pancreas, either in an act of sublime kindness or in a demonstration of total ineptitude, had delayed the train I was late for, having cancelled the one after it. Three hours of drunk football supporters, but I was still grateful). Spent a little while in a back street back home close to midnight in the company of an old school punk. My mother would have freaked. I was relieved. I trust odd looking people. Well, I trust them more, anyway.

Thursday 20th

More mixing today. We tackled Can't Be Won't Be which, unfortuantely, was pretty much my first recording and is therefore piteously quiet and a total bitch to get just to audible levels, let alone a reasonably coherent sound. Engineer managed very well, though I feel we may come to blows in mastering over the thumpiness of the second drum track. The boy likes bass. I'm not convinced about the lead vocal. I'm assured it's fine. Artist isn't convinced - Producer is attempting to placate her but shares some of her concerns.

Monday 17th

Today we began the arduous tasks of Mixing. Huw Stephens is coming to the club that Boyfriend works at to do some kind of special and I'm planning to apply the long standing tack of Stalk-And-Beg. Here are some advance tracks from this album which I've been working very long and hard on. Please listen to them. just once, is all I ask. Please? Am going to attempt to make it stand out from the ridiculous pile he'll most likely accumulate from everyone else doing the same thing. If the worst comes to the worst, I can always cry.

I'm hoping he'll be listening to whatever he's given on the way back to wherever in the car. Which means I need some good mixes. Which means NOT me mixing them. I suck at EQing. So Producer and I called Engineer, who was actually excited by the prospect. So here we are. There's a bit in the recording of Catechisms which makes me cringe, but Engineer and Boyfriend both think is fine. I might rerecord it at some point anyway. Just for me. We got through Catechisms (which was basically a "yeah, that sounds good, let's compress it a bit and normalise it" job) and Blank Space today. Which leaves the two difficult ones for another time.

Saturday 9th

Living With Ghosts is just not coming together. My "everything will be done with keys and they shall all be live and i shall play them all at once on stage!" idea has fallen flat on its face. Tbh, the live version works really, really well but doesn't convert well to tape (or to binary, I suppose), the grand piano sound Engineer and I spent a day setting up sounds WRONG, the Rhodes bass is overwhelming everything and I think the electric piano needs tuning. Bloody acoustic instruments. Come back, synths, all is forgiven!

Thursday 7th

Engineer and I spent today attempting to find a set of microphones and a position for them which gave me the piano sound I've been looking for. 6 mics and about 20 positions later, I think we've got something. Usually, I do this alone, but that means: guess where mics might sound right, run upstairs, switch them on, set up to record, run downstairs, adjust mic settings, play piece, run upstairs, switch off recording, play back, run downstairs, adjust mic positions and repeat ad infinitum. Asides from being good exercise, it's a total pain in the arse. I just can't physically play and listen to the mic feed at once. Doesn't work. And I've tried mimicking where I plan to put the mics by sticking my head under the lid, but that can make playing properly tricky. Sometimes the axe is just too large. Sometimes I wish I had retrofitted it with pickups.

Saturday 1st

A very successful August, I feel, despite having missed out on most of the sunshine. Note to self: next studio should be at least portable to the outside world. Three and a half tracks finished - two and a half from scratch and one FINALLY done after three and a half months of coming back to it over and over. I am hopeful that September will be as productive, and that the album is starting to pick up speed. Seven tracks finished already. Thats practically halfway.